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GUN LOBBY PROMOTES NATIONAL GUN DAY

The gun lobby has announced that it plans to petition the federal government for a new national holiday honoring firearms. A spokesman for the group declared that it was about time the country did more to recognize the obligation of every citizen to obey the second amendment of the Constitution and become a gun owner. The holiday would celebrate the ownership of all types of guns, from small purse-type pistols to assault weapons and high-magazine weapons. The spokesman went on the assert that although gun ownership has passed the 88.8 per 100 citizen mark, there are still households that do not possess a gun.

Poster Boy A spokesman for the gun manufacturers announced the industry's wholehearted support for the plan. Although gun sales hit record highs in 2915, the spokesman said there was still manufacturing capacity for even greater days ahead. The continuing frightening of the public, plus the militia movement is guaranteeing increasing sales far into the future.

The lobby further stated that it will initiate a national poster contest to promote public awareness of the project. An anonymous gun owner from Nebraska has been chosen as the poster child to appear on the posters as well as on national media. Said to posses over 100 different kinds of firearms, he will become an inspiration to the country.

The gun lobby promises to spare no effort until there is at least some kind of gun in every home across this great land. Its battle cry resounds throughout the hall of Congress: "A chicken in every pot and a gun in every nightstand!"

WHAT'S REAL...An overwhelming majority of Americans support some form of responsible gun control. Certainly requiring background checks on all gun buyers and gun shop employees should be mandatory regardless of where the gun is being purchased...and this includes gun shows. Gun ownership should be denied to convicted felons, as well as persons diagnosed with a mental disorder. Anyone on a terrorist watch list should be prohibited from buying a gun. Gun owners must be required to report gun theft to the police immediately. Concealed carry permits should be granted only to persons who have completed a safety training course, are 21 or older, and have never been convicted of a violent misdemeanor or domestic violence.

Doodle Corner

I must have a gun for protection, to augment my extensive collection
of things that go pop
and keep me tip-top
In the second amendment direction.

Guns are such wonderful fun.
I'll always have more than just one.
They gleam and they glisten,
And cause such submission,
That bad guys can rarely outrun.

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